carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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