remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
