i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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