what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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