everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
