So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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