Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
