he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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