I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
