Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
