roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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