and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
