Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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