I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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