There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I have post one night stand depression
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
