Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
