my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
