I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
