We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
