apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
