too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
