I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
