btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dear god my vagina.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
