That's intense
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
