I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
