I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
