Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
