And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We left an ass print on the piano.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
