but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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