Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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