he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
