One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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