this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
