hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
