I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
