I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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