I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
