I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
