i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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