If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
