well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
