That's intense
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
