Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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