plz talk dirty to me
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Your penis caused this!
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