PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
