there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I supernannyed him into submission
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I want a musical about memes.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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