adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
