we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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