he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
