I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
